An African Woman

‘Allo ‘Allo Bloggie!

I’ve done a lot of movie watching lately and I mean a lot (covers face). Although I had been thinking about writing this post for several months, one of my newer watched movies gave me the push I needed.

Since I’ve been in the U.S. I’ve noticed that in describing Black women, people use the word “strong”. I've always wondered how one word could be used to describe a whole group of women. They would also say men should always make her smile because her smile is rare and her temper to be feared. I have also noticed that in describing African women, the words weak, submissive, domestic, and illiterate frequently came up. Many times I fought to correct those impressions and sometimes I was just too angry to comment. So I’ve decided to put my anger aside and attempt to describe an African woman.

A lot of people are under the impression that all Africans are rural dwellers. As a result, this post will not focus on the urban/modern African woman but on the uneducated and rural woman. I’ll leave it to you to imagine what the educated ones are capable of. Before I start, let me say that there are so many different kinds of women in the continent and each can be described in her own way. In describing my own mother, I could write a book. But I digress.

• The African woman cannot be described using just one word. She is strong, unique, smart, humble, able, intelligent, respectful and what have you.
• If you should fear anything about her, fear her mind and her intellect. She has never gone to a classroom for a day but her smarts will put a lot of educated people’s to shame.
• She sees way past the situation on ground. While you focus on the here and now, she focuses on there and after.
• Once she becomes a wife, her life is dedicated to her family and this gets stronger as she becomes a mother.
• For her child, there is no sacrifice too big. Whatever can be done to save her child, she will do.
• When her child is very ill and the herbs aren’t working to heal her child, she will walk carrying that child on her back under the scorching sun, the heavy rain and/or the frigid harmattan winds to get her child to the hospital that could require a whole day’s trek.
• When there’s a shortage of food in her household, she’ll make sure everyone else (especially her children) has eaten before she’ll eat. If there’s no food left, she’s full because her children have been fed.
• She plans her family’s budget without trouble and can tell you precisely what is needed without using an excel spreadsheet or writing out a list. She’s that good.
• Her husband might be a farmer, a clerk or of some other profession but she runs the entire household. She’s the force behind the stability of the home. Although it always seems to outsiders that men run the house.
• She doesn’t wear her worries and fears on her face and neither does she go looking for sympathy. Instead, she tries to find the best in every situation.
• She’s not monetarily wealthy but she’s wealthy where it counts… her heart and her experiences.
• A lot of decisions she makes might seem foolish to others but a lot of those decisions are rooted in culture.
• If you sit with her for a day, her experiences and thoughts are bound to shock and shake you.

I read “Wives’ Revolt” by J. P. Clark in secondary school. I don’t remember much, but I do remember that it told of the important roles women play in society (it was a rural setting) and that it was quite the story. Every mother’s day in Nigeria, we sang (I’m sure they still do) Prince Nico Mbarga’s “Sweet Mother” (I’m singing it right now). If you could but see the joy on the faces of people while they sang, you would totally understand and appreciate the roles of women in the African societies. Here are a few lines from the song which I usually meditate on.

"And if I forget you, therefore I forget my life and the air I breathe.
And then on to you men, forget, verily, forget your mother
for if you forget your mother you've lost your life".

If you ever get the chance to meet an African woman, I hope you see her for who she really is and not what society wants you to think she is. Also, know that the educated and urban women are no different from other women of the world in terms of what they've seen or can do. I would also like to say that yes, this does not apply to all African women and neither does the description of any developed country's woman apply to all their women.

This is one the movies that gave me the push to write this. Unfortunately, I don't know a site you can watch it for free yet. You should see it if you can…

Au revoir,

Tonia