Women And The Sought After MRS Degree

Hey Bloggie!

So I’m at that age now where “are you seeing someone/engaged?” is the new “hey how are you?”. It’s baffling how this change occurs in life. Many times I meet a lot of ladies my age that believe that if there’s no guy in your life, your life in incomplete. I mean seriously though? I still haven’t figured out when exactly in life this transition occurred. One moment we were all young and trying to figure out what we wanted to become in life; jobs, locations, defining ourselves and so on. Now all I hear is how everyone wants to become Mrs. Somebody.

Let me quickly say I am not against getting married. Not in the least bit. At the right time and to the right person, it’s a great blessing. To the wrong person however, God is all you have.

So why is it that a lot of young and successful women want to kill themselves over the MRS Degree? I don’t think I have the full answer but I do know that society, culture, family and friends have parts to play in it. Society has dictated that no matter how successful a woman is, she has to have a man attached to her side to be considered normal. If there’s no man, then she’s just a bitter old lady that has never been married and probably has some psychotic issues going on else she would have found a man to marry. But you know the amazing part of this, it’s not the males in society that hamper on this marital status and create all manners of crazy reasons why this woman doesn't have a husband. Oh no. It is the FEMALES! They just can’t seem to let it go. After a certain age, they have to put you in the single, married, chronically single or death by singledom category.

Why is this? It's not because they want you to be happy and want to share in your bliss. It’s so they can pull rank with you thus feeling better about their lives. I am married therefore my life is so much better than yours and I should garner more respect. Never mind that their marriages are the biggest jokes of the century. They themselves can’t tell you the last time they saw their husbands, the last time they spoke to their husbands but they can tell you who their husbands’ main squeezes are. Seriously babe your life is not one that I aspire to have. I've met several of these women and they’re all educated and were successful before marriage. They sometimes gave up good jobs to obtain the MRS Degree. They sacrificed their worth, their respect, they've become shadows of their worst enemies and their consolation prize is the statement “at least I am married therefore I am better than the single women out there”.

A lot of cultures dictate the end of your spring chicken life. I have an Asian friend who struggled with the idea of obtaining a PhD because her family kept telling her that her chances of finding a husband would decrease enormously with a more advanced degree. I mean seriously? She’s pursuing her dream, her happiness and who knows, maybe she’ll meet her husband while getting her degree or at the job the degree will land her. I once had a professor that specifically asked not to be called Mrs. because her marital status had nothing to do with her job. I didn't understand the essence of stressing that then, but I do now.

Then there are the friends that believe they have arrived (luckily I don’t have any friends like this phew!). They've recently gotten engaged or married and now the world is so much better and every single person has to get engaged/married to experience life. They can’t stop talking about this and they have suddenly forgotten that they had to kiss some frogs to get their princes (well you hope they have princes). Now getting engaged is as easy as walking outside, meeting a guy and BOOM. Some of these ladies had to change themselves to get hitched. They changed their wardrobes, mannerisms and lifestyles to land these guys. It worked for them therefore it must work for you (doesn't matter if you’re happy and true to you. A man is so much better). It has always been my experience that people that are truly happy don’t ever need to rub it in people’s faces. It is just what it is. So forgive me for wondering what state of emotion these ladies are in.

Getting your MRS Degree is by no means a bad thing as long as you’re ready to earn your degree and are happy with all the things that come with the conferred degree. I believe that each in his/her own time will get married and that the idea of living in the shadows of marriage while accepting inappropriate behavior from your partner is definitely a recipe for the worst life ever.

Before you sum this up as the rantings of a bitter lady, let me tell you what spurred all this. I was recently told that I couldn't be truly happy until I have a husband (this person was obviously an acquaintance). The nerve of the lady though! To this I replied “I’d rather have ten years of blissful marriage with my better half than have forty years being called Mrs. Somebody”. Needless to say the conversation ended right there but the thoughts started rolling and I realized it was a methodology to make herself feel better. 

You know Bloggie, I'm just going to stop here because I could go on and on. I just hope women will stop looking for validations of happiness from marriages and get married because they are ready and have found a partner. 

Next time Bloggie, 

Tonia

P.S

How awesome is my big brother for providing the drawing above? I only had to beg a couple times and give him a brief description of what was on my mind :)