Licensed To Drive!!!
Babe I got MY DRIVER'S LICENSE on Saturday!! Cue song ‘pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop champagne!’ Yes it took me however many years to get it but it doesn't matter anymore. I don get am and them no fit comot am for my hand again (scratches head… I think). How did this miracle happen you ask? Of course I’ll tell you!
Queen of procrastination that I am I didn't call my driving school till almost the last minute (well the last minute was three weeks or so before my test. So usually that would be an early bird special). They were nice enough to fit me in and cater to all my requests. I got three driving instructors and each one of them was very nice.
I first got an uber sweet elderly man that made me feel I could do no wrong while driving. We became fast friends and he was very patient with me. Next, I got a younger guy (well young compared to the first and old compared to me). He was cool and was not afraid to use the phrase “you just screwed up” but in a very nice way. We also became fast friends and he let me take the highway home! I’m giving him the evil eye as I write. He also made me feel I could do no wrong.
Enter test day. My test was at 10 in the morning and the school was to pick me up at 9. What time did home girl wake up you ask? 4! Then I started watching driving tests on YouTube (both yankee and jand). In retrospect, that probably wasn't one of my smartest decisions. My nerves went to the roof! By the time it was 9, a new instructor came and with a different car. I thought I’d die!
We went to the test centre, practiced my parallel parking and driving. Oh and did I mention this time around my instructor was female? Yeah. I usually stay away from females if they have to give me orders and/or information. For some reason, they’re just mean (not all of them are but I don’t like to take chances so I run to man if there’s one). My instructor was nice, but she shouted. Things like “what are you doing?”, “didn't the guys teach you this or that?”, “where are you going?”, “you need to stop being scared”. Didn't help my nerves, but she gave me awesome last minute tips.
I was tested by a guy though (thank God! If you see the women in there, face go fear face. They don’t send you at all. By the book or nothing). Anyways, my guy wasn't smiling and just telling me what he wanted me to do next. All in all, the test went well. Green lights cooperated with me and didn't turn yellow; no cars were in the right lane when I had to switch lanes, etc.
But there was small drama. On making a right turn and just accelerating, a car cut me off! Even my instructor instinctively stepped on the brakes (the guy carry leg go up fear catch me inside the motor). This might be the real reason why I passed; I saved his life. Of course I was shaking after that but knew I couldn't scream. Cry full my eye like this (choi! I don dey yankee too long. Small thing and cry go just full my eye! Before before I be correct pako pekin… aye mi o!) But I no fit cry. I drove us back to the test centre and he told me I passed! I shouted and then arranged myself... Naija no dey carry last.
They said it wouldn't happen: I proved them wrong. They said “hmm you don’t know you’re old”: I said “age doesn't matter”. They said “your mates have been doing it for years”: I said “they started it one day and I will get my day too”. It has come o Bloggie! It has come.
You can find me staring at my license.
Tonia.
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