Inner Growth

Hey Bloggie,

You and I know it’s been a minute so I’ll just skip the long apology and move on to the gist.

I noticed during my recent trip to Naija that I had become complacent in some parts of my life in the last few years. Being back in Lagos made me realize that at one point in my life, I was never just satisfied with the now and was always striving for the later. This really took me by surprise but in a good way. I mean in Lagos, I could stay up all day doing stuff and still have energy at the end of the day to chill with family and friends. And I would rinse and repeat. I realized that somehow in the last few years, I had lost my “Lagosian hustling spirit” and I have been fighting tooth and nail (more like soul searching) the last few months to get it back. 

I remember a time when I would survive all day with about three hours of sleep (not recommended o). The only time lack of sleep did me bad thing was in undergrad when I planned to take a nap after pulling an all-nighter. Instead of napping, slept well into my exam. Mehn, the tears were real that night! Luckily, my professor had mercy on me so that ended well 😊. Upon reflection, I noticed that my daily routine had become one of work and chill. For example, I’m typically out of the house before 6:30 and get home almost 12 hours later. After rustling up dinner and doing dishes, I’d have zero motivation to do anything other than relax. It’s not like I wouldn’t have other things to do. It seemed I just couldn’t be bothered to find the energy. I really need my younger self to come ginger me. Show me how we went to school, work, did homework, study for tests, chill with friends, eat, etc. all in one day! 

Being back home, I noticed my family members had it rougher than I did yet, they accomplished more than I did (outside working hours). Lagos traffic alone, is enough to make anyone quit the office. But instead, you find people managing two to three jobs, having lives, having families, being in good health and functioning. No be the same 24 hours we dey use? I’m trying very hard these days to use the 4 to 5 hours I have at home after work to do something productive instead of being a couch potato and waiting for a justifiable bedtime to come around. I still don’t know how I got here. Part of me thinks I mentally decided to focus on work for a while and instead, got way too comfortable. As one of my dear friends said, “it’s not my company. Someone can wake up tomorrow and decide they don’t like my face and find a way to fire me. Be comfortable enough to be happy but don’t balance – the seat can be pulled away.” 

I have also had to bring my future life back into focus instead of the “taking it one day at a time approach” I had taken. I’ve gone back into finding and developing new skillsets to help me become more marketable. Two years ago, I did a whole 360 on my office place expectations and reality. One day when I’m cohesive enough, I’ll talk about what changes I made and why. I think already being critical of myself and making subtle but necessary changes, helped me be open to noticing other parts of my life that had suffered due to complacency. I don’t think one necessarily needs to have more than one job to be great. But one should be growing so that opportunities do not pass one by. Being open to change, might lead to newer and better experiences. I know so many people who got top jobs not by seeking but, because other people noticed their capabilities and growth even before they did.

In summary, the Lagosian in me has been reawakened and I pray I never lose my spirit again. And if I do, I know you’ll help me find it again right? 😉

This week’s jam is Ycee’s “Juice” because I’m reawakening my brain juices plus I really like to dance to the song hehehe. Enjoy!

Have a fantastic week,

Tonia