The Unnecessary Silent Treatment
Sup Bloggie!
What's up with this heat?! It's blazing out here! Today, it stormed here but I kid you not. An hour later, you couldn't find a single sign of rain on the ground. Absolutely terrible I tell you.
In my post on the differences between American and Nigerian guys, (you can find it here) I mentioned the silent treatment as one of the disadvantages of American guys. This isn't the usual you've offended me, I'm mad at you, therefore I won't talk to you as punishment. That's normal (probably unhealthy sometimes, but normal). Instead, I'm talking about the silence that emerges out of nowhere. Take for example, you've been talking to someone everyday for oh I don't know, 6 months? You spoke to this person yesterday, had a great long conversation, probably even hung out. And suddenly today, the spirit of
Where I'm from, if this ever happens, it's usually because this person is ill, has had his phone stolen or some other horrible reason. It's not because he wants you to show him more attention or is trying to avoid you. If he were, there would be some kind of conversation with the lady. Since my background immediately sets me up for panic about the things that could be wrong with this human, those are of course my first thoughts. This might have given these guys the impression that I was more interested than I actually was if that's what was happening (in the dating scenes and I'm not sure what in the friendships). I've found in more than one case that the guy suddenly reappears and always has the nerve to act as though nothing has happened. WHY IS THIS?!!!
I've noticed this behaviour in older and younger guys so it means people don't grow out of it. I mean is it really so hard to say what you feel? Is it really hard to send a text saying how you feel? I don't just get it. I've heard excuses such as "oh I just don't like confrontations", "women are crazy and won't understand", and some lamer excuses. I'm so sorry but since when did having a conversation become a confrontation? And with this hot and cold attitude, I believe it would only be fair to these kinds of guys if they got crazy women. This is fresh in my mind because it just happened to another friend of mine and I could hear myself in her conversation. She replayed the last conversation wondering if there was a piece of the conversation she had forgotten about. Of course there was nothing.
Before you get upset, my friends and I have only noticed this behaviour here. Never have I heard tales like these about the European or African guys we've encountered but it doesn't mean they don't exist. So I'm writing because I'm wondering if anyone would be so kind as to explain why this unnecessary silent treatment is meted out to fellow humans. There might be a situation whereby something will genuinely happen to someone but I probably will see it as just the usual attitude that I've unfortunately, come to expect.
Please let me know if you've had this experience and/or understand the reasoning behind this.
Thank you,
Tonia
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