My Top Embarrassing Moments

Hey Bloggie,

I feel really great! Why? This is my #100thpost! And since I’m very old school, it means I’ve penned (or penciled) 100 stories to paper before typing and posting. Ose! It means a hundred of my thoughts are out in the world. Above all, it means that you and I have conversed a hundred times 😊.

For my centennial post, I thought we could do a deep dive and talk about some of my most embarrassing moments. Since I’m slightly awkward, I have a ton of #embarrassing stories but these are the ones that keep coming back any time I’m asked about these times. Now, these are not in ranking order but please feel free to help me rank my moments.

1. The Case of the Mistaken Identity: 
When I was much younger, I was very confident in my ability to recognize people via their profiles. I also loved covering the eyes of those I knew well from behind to see if they could identify me – this game was very common among my friends and classmates at the time. On this fateful day, I saw a profile I recognized walking down my street. Because a) I knew this profile, and b) it was my street, the stars were aligned for me to play my game. I ran very fast to catch up to this person and jumped him so I could reach his eyes. Did I mention it was a guy? So here I am, pressed against this person and feeling great about my surprise attack until he spoke. His voice did not register so I knew I had goofed. In my mortification, I had to slowly remove my hands from his eyes, jump back down, and face him when he turned around. I wanted the ground to open so I could disappear, but it didn’t cooperate with me. Luckily, he accepted my apologies and wasn’t ticked off by my mistake.
Of course, I had to change the course of my walking so I could give him time to get ahead of me 😳.
I can’t say I’ve jumped anyone else after only viewing their profile. I need to know it’s you and confirm your outfit sef. #Inofitshout.

2. The Professor and the Sanitary Pad: 
In college, I was a bona fide back pocket pad carrier. And that was how I remained until this very moment convinced me I had being doing something wrong. I was walking to class feeling like a boss and had just walked by an older professor and said hello. Not ten seconds later, I heard him say “excuse me.” Assuming he must have been talking to someone else, I didn’t turn around. But he repeated it so I thought it wise to turn around. On turning, I saw this man holding up my pad. Of course, I had to walk to him to collect it. He then said, “I figured you might need this.” At that moment, I was mortified but I did realize that even though it was uncomfortable for both of us, he took a bold step for me 😊.
I have never done the back-pocket thing again. Even though on that day I knew my back pocket wasn’t as deep as usual, I figured it wouldn’t matter. But... it did.

3. The Black Walker:
At my first boarding school in Naija, I needed to go fetch water from the tap just outside my dorm. A typically simple and daily task. I had two options to get to the tap – either I walked on the slabs that led to the tap (a longer route) or I crossed over by jumping down from some concrete thing (shorter route). I chose the latter. While I was crossing over, I could see the tap but somehow, I wasn’t making any progress getting to the tap. The distance seemed the same. I then realized that in crossing over, I had fallen and all this time, I was making walking motions while lying down. I still don’t know how I missed falling and how I made it without any scratches or bruises since the drop wasn’t a short one. I guess I’m skilled like that 😎.

4. The Wicked Bra:
I’m sure all women will agree that bras are #evil. On this lucky day, I was looking for trouble and trouble found me. I was at a dinner performance with my date and while he was paying attention to the stage performance, I had the genius idea to pinch him slightly. It was the perfect opportunity. As I was inching forward slightly with glee on my face, I heard and felt the snap on my back. Freezing ensued. The snap was so loud, he also heard it. And of course, he wondered what the sound was and when I had moved. I was speechless because I couldn’t believe my own bra had betrayed me in public. So I just mumbled something inaudible and redirected my gaze to the stage. He knew I was up to something but he didn't know my punishment.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t troublesome after that. I’ll keep taking my chances 😁.

And now you know some of my awkward moments. Are there any you'd like to share?
In honour of my 100th post, we'll be jamming to two songs this week: Tiwa Savage's "Standing Ovation" because I'm saluting myself, and Jeff Akoh's "Shokolokobangoshe" because it was one of my favourite words in primary school (plus I love the song).

 

Thank you for journeying with me thus far!!
Xoxoxo,
Tonia